Not Everything is About You…

I recently submitted a workshop proposal, and it was not selected. My visceral response was to head toward self-pity and feeling "not good enough". But shout out to my amazing executive coach Kamrin Eriksen Huban who introduced me to the concept of #PositiveIntelligence and the brilliant mind of Shirzad Chamine.

All it took was a moment to take a beat, do a few PQ reps, and remember that not everything is about me. The fact that my proposal was not selected is not an indictment of my value, intellect or anything else about me. The fact that my proposal was not selected became an opportunity for me to grow and learn.

Instead of diving headfirst down the rabbit hole of negativity, I reached out to the future client (see what I did there?) to again thank them for the opportunity to submit a proposal ,and to ask if they would share with me what made the proposal they selected stand out. They agreed and I had a wonderful, productive meeting with the review panel (and was so moved that several of them made time for the meeting!). I gained some useful feedback that included praise for several aspects of my proposal and constructive feedback on ways I can refine future submissions. They shared that my proposal was one of the front-runners. It just wasn’t the one that was selected, and that’s ok. When they shared information about the winning proposal, I thought “Dang! I would have chosen that proposal too” lol.

I have conditioned myself not to operate from a scarcity or starvation mindset. I learned to embrace the idea that what is meant for me is for me and no one else will be able to take it. I learned to take a “no” as a “not yet”. All things in God's time (I stay ready so that I don't have to get ready). My time to shine tends to pop up when I least expect it sometimes and every disappointment in my life has led to an exponentially greater blessing.

I conditioned my mind to steer away from covetousness and jealousy when someone else gets something that I wanted (or deciding to be disappointed about not getting something I had not previously wanted, but decided I wanted it for the sole reason that someone else got it - I sound silly to myself even typing this, but #transparency).

I learned to let my work speak for itself and no longer feel the need to insinuate myself into relationships, situations, and scenarios. I don’t need to be in all the places and do all the things to feel valued. I did the work to be authentically Traci and to show up in ways that only I can. It wasn’t easy. It is an ongoing process as I am not perfect, and remain human, with human emotions. So, I continue to do the work.

I say all this to say that I am issuing a challenge. I challenge you to pick one day a week to embrace the concept that not everything is about you. On that day, I challenge you to not use the words “I”, “me” or “my” in conversation. I challenge you to take a day to be still and let the good things come to you.